The title of this episode is a real question I am posing to all of my listeners. If you knew that you would not fail once again to achieve your desired outcome, what would you do? Would you tell yourself that’s not possible because you always fail? Or, would you be curious about what makes that opportunity different from all the other ones – to wonder how is it possible that failing isn’t an option?
If you’re curious to know more, please listen carefully. And after you do, if you want to know even more, take action and go look at the link in the show notes. And after that, take one more action which is reach out to me with any questions you have. Please don’t wait for this opportunity of a lifetime to pass you by because you weren’t curious enough to take the next couple of steps
Achieving your goals is connected to how well-developed your EF skills and strategies are, and if they’re not well-developed, well, you know the rest of the story.
And I get it. Getting the right help for yourself is a Catch-22. It’s challenging because the very skills you need to help yourself are the skills you’re missing. And, there’s plenty of resources in the world that offer you a piece of what you need, but not all of it. How do I know? Because I was offered a piece here and there for years, and I just got fed-up with the absence of a solution – not a band-aid or a quick fix – but an actual solution to what I was missing and wanting to achieve. A real solution after so many failed attempts at improving the quality of my life - and none of those pieces helped me get where I am today.
I am not the exception here. It’s not like “oh, you could do it Dr B because of all your training...
So many of us grew up without the opportunity to become the person we want to be. Whether our homes were filled with trauma or addictions or those who raised us were just missing the essential executive function skills to be able to pass them on to us, we didn’t get them. And so, it goes. Generation after generation of kids are growing up with under-developed executive function skills; the very life skills that are necessary for successful “adulting.”
Some of you believe it’s too late for you to develop these skills or that it will take too long. The fact is, it’s never too late and in our 7-month journey together you will make significant changes – from the inside out - that will change your life. To me, that’s a relatively short period of time considering the lifetime many of us have spent without these skills and the difference that having them makes.
There's a lot of trauma that occurs as a result of not knowing what the source of our challenges are. And so many mixed feelings when and if we get diagnosed, everything from a huge sense of relief, and having an explanation for entire life experiences, to a deep sadness over the missed opportunities. And what could have been had we known sooner?
And what if the bigger issue with all the problems that we adults with or without ADHD have is because of the not knowing the lack of a diagnosis and all the trauma that results from living with the unknown, or the unnamed explanation?
Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most...
Feeling overwhelmed isn’t automatically a positive or a negative experience; it depends on the emotion and on the meaning you give to the emotion you’re feeling. You could be overwhelmed with gratitude and self-love or overwhelmed with grief and shame.
The meaning I give overwhelmed is that it implies “too much” or “more than someone can comfortably handle.” Is that you?
Every time I imagine what life is like WITHOUT well-developed executive function skills before the pandemic, and then imagine it during this pandemic, the impact just 10x’d itself in terms of the negative overwhelm and impact that it is having on your lives. And so many of you are telling me exactly that.
The good news?
Executive Function skills can be learned, no matter what age you are. No matter where you are located in the world. All it takes is the right training, strategies and support.
Being an Achiever isn’t just about developing your EF Skills; you also need to become the person who is the Achiever, instead of thinking of yourself as the person who is the ADDer. Saying “I am an Achiever” is the first step to taking on an empowering new Identity, just as saying “I am an ADDer, is a step that reinforces keeping the same old disempowering Identity.
Are you telling yourself stories or reliving your past failed attempts and making that your reality today? You’re probably not doing this consciously, however, many of us base our current reality on possibilities of what you’ve done in the past. Statements like, “this is just how I am” or “this doesn’t feel like me” or “I can’t see myself living that way” are common.
The good news?
Executive Function skills can be learned, no matter what age you are. No matter where you are...
I have something a little different for you today. In case you missed listening to my interview with Meredith for Real: The Curious Introvert, she was kind enough to share the episode with me, so I could share it with you all directly. I love responding to questions and thoroughly enjoyed my interview with Meredith.
If my podcast show is the first time you’ve been hearing about the difference between ADHD and executive function skills, you're not alone. If you’re an adult who received a diagnosis of adult ADHD, executive function skills should also have been assessed and discussed with you, in my humble opinion. The odds of having under-developed executive function skills along with ADHD are very high; in fact, almost a given that you will. It's also highly probable that you will have under-developed executive function skills if you've lived with chronic depression, chronic anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic...
Hey ADDers! Do you have trouble “shifting” from your current task to the next task? Or maybe you have the opposite problem – where you are shifting way too quickly from thing to thing and leaving a trail of unfinished tasks in your wake. Even though most of the executive function assessments typically look at the behavioral stuff, like moving with ease from one situation, activity or aspect of a problem to another as the circumstances require, to me there is so much more to understanding Shifting than just the behavioral manifestations. What about Shifting your thoughts and feelings? By that I mean, do your thoughts and feelings seem to get stuck and just keep presenting you with the same stuff over and over again? Do you want to think or feel differently yet can’t seem to shift?
If I'm describing your life, then this episode is for you!!
In this episode, I talk about:
Podcast episodes will be coming out weekly, focusing on solutions and transformations for you. To be notified of upcoming episodes or suggest topics of interest to you, based on your current challenges or solutions you are seeking, complete the information below. Thank you!