Executive Function Basics: Focus, Priorities and Effective Decision-Making - 068
Jan 02, 2020Hey ADDers! So glad you could join me for today’s episode - Executive Function Basics about Focus, Priorities and Effective Decision Making. I wanted to share some important tools with you that I’ve taught students before.
Without the skills to focus, prioritize and make effective decisions, you are most likely going to be stressed and spinning your wheels a lot, seeing very little results at the end of each day. And like you, I know how awful that feels, and am grateful to have developed the skills I needed to do these things more easily, and teach them to others so they are less stressed too. I trust the information in this episode will give you a start at developing these critically important skills and lessen your stressors, especially during this holiday season when there is so much more to focus on, prioritize and of course, make decisions on.
In this episode Dr B talks about:
- Focus
- Prioritizing
- Decision-Making
- The importance of celebrating your wins
- Free 75-Minute Live Masterclass, either January 3, 5 or 6 - your choice! "The #1 Way to Move Beyond the Years of Damage from Undiagnosed ADHD and Executive Function Dysfunction." Event is over.
- Learn about Masterclasses on Decision-Making, Time Management and Procrastination!
The driving force behind this show, the ADDventures programs: AIA Foundational Skills and AIA Next Level, and all my social media is to end the needless pain and suffering of those with ADHD and/or under-developed Executive Function Skills.
Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and newfound freedom in your life!
My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering.
Full Episode Transcript
Today is Episode 68 with Dr B
Hey ADDers! So glad you could join me for today’s episode - Executive Function Basics about Focus, Priorities and Effective Decision Making. I wanted to share some important tools with you that I’ve taught students before.
Without the skills to focus, prioritize and make effective decisions, you are most likely going to be stressed and spinning your wheels a lot, seeing very little results at the end of each day. And like you, I know how awful that feels, and am grateful to have developed the skills I needed to do these things more easily, and teach them to others so they are less stressed too. I trust the information in this episode will give you a start at developing these critically important skills and lessen your stressors, especially during this holiday season when there is so much more to focus on, prioritize and of course, make decisions on.
Many of you have written to me and said you feel overwhelmed by just how much needs developing in you and you just don’t see how you can do it. The quick answer is “one skill at a time” will make your life that much easier and more enjoyable’ it’s so worth it. There’s no quick fix here – however, there are solutions that can last you the rest of your life if you learn, apply and integrate them into your life. So, to the best of your ability right now, let’s set blame and guilt and all those negative feelings aside and get started developing the skills you need, so they can make a significant difference in the quality of your life.
As more and more of you connect with me in my Facebook group – Living Beyond ADHD – I am learning that even those of you who aren’t yet working with me directly are feeling a sense of relief and hope from my podcast show as well as waves of overwhelm at the vastness of what lies ahead of you - now that you know more of what the real issues are. Please STOP for a moment! We are not going to climb that mountain all at once; at least I don’t recommend it.
When I climbed to the top of Mt. Whitney here in CA years ago, and many other climbers were doing the 24 hours up and down challenge, I saw no glory in that at all. It was overwhelming to me to think of making the 15k’ climb in 24 hours. I wanted to enjoy the climb and not hurt myself by pushing too hard or too fast. I opted to take 4 days to make the climb up – 15 thousand feet or so and then back down; camping along the way. Did I get to the top just like the day climbers? Yes. Was the climb an accomplishment for me? Yes. So fast or more slowly, both the day climbers and I accomplished our goal and enjoyed the climb. I want you to enjoy the journey of developing your executive function skills more fully, not hate the process and resist doing what needs doing. That won’t serve you at all.
I know that many of you have been diagnosed later in life or became aware of your ADHD and executive function challenges later in life and are hurting and grieving your missed opportunities or failed marriages or academic failures or so much more. The grieving period will pass and then it’s time to move forward. The years behind us are spent. The years ahead are hopefully many for all of us. And time is going to pass whether we develop these skills or not. It’s a matter of priorities and deciding how ready we are to move beyond our current limitations and help ourselves to become better equipped to live more fully and with less stress. It’s time to start learning how to - Live Ready - and head off further regrets.
Remember - you are NOT what you do or don’t do; that you are more than that, whether it’s your time to develop these skills or not. Your time will come, if you get yourself ready for it and welcome it into your life. Also, you are not the story you make up about yourself. You are not too old and it’s not too late for any of you. These are skills I’m talking about and just as you learned to walk, talk, and tie your shoe laces, if you do these things, you can learn executive function skills and strategies no matter what age you are.
YOU are NOT defective or less than as a person – as a human being because you don’t yet know how to focus your mind when and where you need it to focus or prioritize or make effective decisions. Did you take a class in school and learn these things there; probably not.
It’s almost time for some new content - but first, let’s celebrate a few WINS. Perhaps you became willing to keep your word to yourself and others no matter what; that a huge win! Or maybe you had a very difficult decision to make and committed to a date to make the decision by no matter what: that’s the spirit! Or maybe you decided that you’ve been taking yourself way too seriously and are going to play and laugh more than you have in some time; a great win!
Celebrating a WIN today, even if it’s been a really tough day, let’s you acknowledge that at least something is good about today and that’s important, even in the worst of times. You are a precious child of the universe; and are called a “human being” not a “human doing” for good reason. You don’t have to earn your value by what you do; you were born with it. You’re value comes from “who” you are; not what you do. Got it? I hope so because you’re going to keep hearing me say it, because it’s so important to your self-esteem and quality of life.
So let’s transition to the content for today’s episode and what you can start doing today to turn your life around.
How much time do we have? Not much. So let’s get to it.
Today’s 3 great topics are:
1. Focus
2. Prioritizing
3. Decision-Making
Now back to being an adult with ADHD in today’s world and learning the Executive Function Basics.
I trust you can hear yourself in my examples about focus, prioritizing and decision-making. Hearing isn’t enough; so don’t stop there! You need to commit to yourself to make the time every day to take some small action step that moves you forward and use some of what I’ve shared with you in this episode. You can do this!
A Favorite Quote:
Albert Camus said, "There is no happiness if the things we believe in are different than the things we do.”
Are you waiting to be happy when something happens that you say will make you happy? And what if that doesn’t happen? Will you stay unhappy? I hope not. Time passes quickly and its time for you to be happy now – since now is all that any of us have. This moment – Here – Now
Remember that what you focus on grows. If you focus on your past, and mistakes you made or things you didn’t know “yet” – you’ll contaminate your present moments with regrets or past pain. If you focus on your future, and all the “what ifs” – you’ll create worry or anxiety about what may or may not happen. Remember, it’s the future and hasn’t happened yet and you are having pain in advance. It’s important to plan for the future AND yet keep your focus on the present moment – right here, right now – and what you can do and how you can do it with what you have. Look at your strengths – we all have some we can tap into and leverage to improve our situations.
Whether you’re learning from my podcast episodes or live videos or working with me directly, you are in my world and I’m here to serve your needs. So be sure to reach out and get your needs met. It’s up to you to take action here so things can change for you.
In case this is your first listen to my show, my website is being redesigned and will be providing you with a more stream-lined experience as well as many resources you may not have known I share with my community for free. So, be sure to make your way over to my site at drbarbaracohen.com and check out the resources showing up over these next few weeks in case there’s something there that can serve a need you have.
Since so many of you in the USA and abroad have written to me expressing your suffering from the years of damage and wanting to know what to do to move forward and live more fully. So many of your stories are painful and raw and I’m sure that’s not the half of it. Thank you for trusting me with what you’ve shared. You aren’t going to want to miss out on the live Masterclass January 3rd, 5th or 6th on how to do just that. I’m excited at the thought of you and thousands of others finally having the opportunity to move beyond the damage and create a new life path for yourself. How awesome is that? To not be tethered to the damage and thoughts of being less than or defective and instead, stand tall as you move forward in your newly created life.
Be sure to head over to https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/2020 and choose the date and time that best suits you to attend live and I’ll see you there!
If you’ve been a listener for some time, I trust you know by now that I get you and have lived through most of the same things as you all have, the only difference might be that I’ve learned what I was missing and gotten to the other side and would love to help you do the same. I remember how unfocused and overwhelmed and stressed I was so much of the time, especially when it came to making decisions – which are part of adult life every day.
I appreciate you showing up to listen today and in the future. I’m making my way back to producing regular episodes and it feels really good. Be sure to subscribe so the newest episode will automatically be in your feed.
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please share it with your friends and family, as well as rate the show. If you’d like to do a little more, write a thoughtful review on iTunes so I know I’m meeting your needs. I’d love to know if today’s episode was valuable for you and if so, in what ways. I love hearing from you, so feel free to email me at [email protected] It means a lot to me to know your life is getting a little bit better every time we get together. Be sure to check out the show notes for all the resources I have referred to today. I hope to see you in the Facebook group, Living Beyond ADHD, enjoying the live videos I do on my Dr B Facebook page, following me on Instagram, as well as in the live Masterclass just a few short weeks from now - that is…if any of this is of interest to you. Thanks for listening… Until the next time… Bye for now…
Episode Resources:
- Put yourself on the Information List for the ADDventures In Achievement Foundational Skills Program, so that you receive all the amazing emails we’ve written to both educate you about Executive Function skills as well as the details of the program; there is absolutely no obligation by being on the information list. You’ll thank yourself for getting informed.
- Free Video and e-Book - Many Mental Health Providers & ADHD
- 13 EF Skills
- Join the amazing Living Beyond ADHD Facebook Group & hang out with your peeps
- Follow me on Dr B Facebook Page and enjoy live videos and more
- Follow me on Instagram and enjoy relevant resources
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Let's put an end to the worldwide needless suffering together! We can do this!
