When you set a goal, you are setting a direction for yourself. And setting a direction can change the course of your life; it depends on the goal that you set.
In my 50s, I wrote a goal on my flipchart one day that I wanted to have a positive impact on the lives of at least a million people in my lifetime. I had no idea what that goal really meant nor how it would unfold when I wrote it that day.
Then, many years ago, I found an anonymous quote online – “Set a goal so big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the person who can.” Okay… I had set a goal so big that I couldn’t even imagine how I could achieve it, however, the quote said that I needed to grow into the person who could. At the time, I had no idea what that meant – grow into who and how?
Looking back, I can see that the combination of the goal I wrote and the quote I found were the stimulus for me to grow into who I have become and am...
If you could get yourself to focus when and where you need to AND could shift your state or feelings so you feel like doing things you’ve planned, when it’s time to take action, would having those skills change your life? If you’re like other adults I’ve asked over the years, the answer is a resounding yes. But how?
You are where your attention is. What you focus on grows. You are the meaning maker in your life. Your feelings are a direct result of your thinking. You create your own reality; we all do.
So…are you ready to harness your focus before your dreams gently slip through your fingers or you run out of steam and just quit? I hope so.
Today I’m talking about one aspect of embracing your Superpower and becoming the visionary of your life. That’s right - developing your Foresight and Conscious Focusing so you can connect with your ideas about how things can be different for you; how...
I pursued an ADHD diagnosis with many professionals, only to be refused an assessment with two and granted an assessment with one who decided there was nothing significantly amiss with me – just a little anxiety.
Seriously?! The two that turned me away said it would be a waste of time (whose time?) to assess me and the one that did, asked questions and did testing that would never have confirmed a diagnosis because they weren’t properly trained to assess me as an adult woman. It was very discouraging.
Peri-menopause was the great equalizer. When my brain function went offline, all the skills and strategies I had successfully used prior to that hormonal shift stopped working for me. I had developed my EF skills well enough to get my education and successfully serve clients in my private practice, however, my skills weren’t developed in the methodical manner I developed them after “my cognitive fall.” What a gift that time...
You may not know if being free of negative self-talk is going to be right for you. You may not know if you’re going to be SO happy with your new-found freedom that you’ll have to email me and tell me about it. You may not know if this transformation is going to be really fun and exciting.
And, if it’s not as wonderful as others have experienced and you want your previous negative self-talk life back, you can re-create that life again – although you may want to give your new-found freedom a little time before you decide.
Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your...
So many of us grew up without the opportunity to become the person we want to be. Whether our homes were filled with trauma or addictions or those who raised us were just missing the essential executive function skills to be able to pass them on to us, we didn’t get them. And so, it goes. Generation after generation of kids are growing up with under-developed executive function skills; the very life skills that are necessary for successful “adulting.”
Some of you believe it’s too late for you to develop these skills or that it will take too long. The fact is, it’s never too late and in our 7-month journey together you will make significant changes – from the inside out - that will change your life. To me, that’s a relatively short period of time considering the lifetime many of us have spent without these skills and the difference that having them makes.
There's a lot of trauma that occurs as a result of not knowing what the source of our challenges are. And so many mixed feelings when and if we get diagnosed, everything from a huge sense of relief, and having an explanation for entire life experiences, to a deep sadness over the missed opportunities. And what could have been had we known sooner?
And what if the bigger issue with all the problems that we adults with or without ADHD have is because of the not knowing the lack of a diagnosis and all the trauma that results from living with the unknown, or the unnamed explanation?
Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most...
Forgiveness is a gift. We can give this gift at any time - to ourselves or to others. It’s our “get out of jail” gift card – releasing each of us from a prison of our own making. When we refuse to forgive, and choose to hold onto mistakes and use them against ourselves or others, we are setting ourselves up for a miserable life. How many times do we need to relive the pain of the past before we’ve experienced enough pain or misery?
To forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward ourselves or to others for a mistake or harm caused. To forgive doesn’t mean I forget or condone; it simply means that I stop poisoning myself with my past mistakes or the harms done to me by others. And, as I said in the previous episode, “for things to change, you have to change.” I had to learn how to forgive, let go and move on. You also have to learn how to forgive, let go and move on. If not,...
Jim Rohn said - "For things to change, you have to change."
It seems very obvious when you think about it, for things to change, you have to change. I've been thinking about this quote a lot lately. And it's taken on a much deeper meaning for me, because he didn't say, for things to change, you have to change things. What he said is for things to change, you have to change. I understand now that means that I have to change in whatever ways are necessary for things to change for me, whatever those things are; and if I don't change, which is an inside job, then things in the outside world are not going to change for me. So, for things to change, you have to change.
Developing your Executive...
Feeling overwhelmed isn’t automatically a positive or a negative experience; it depends on the emotion and on the meaning you give to the emotion you’re feeling. You could be overwhelmed with gratitude and self-love or overwhelmed with grief and shame.
The meaning I give overwhelmed is that it implies “too much” or “more than someone can comfortably handle.” Is that you?
Every time I imagine what life is like WITHOUT well-developed executive function skills before the pandemic, and then imagine it during this pandemic, the impact just 10x’d itself in terms of the negative overwhelm and impact that it is having on your lives. And so many of you are telling me exactly that.
The good news?
Executive Function skills can be learned, no matter what age you are. No matter where you are located in the world. All it takes is the right training, strategies and support.
Being an Achiever isn’t just about developing your EF Skills; you also need to become the person who is the Achiever, instead of thinking of yourself as the person who is the ADDer. Saying “I am an Achiever” is the first step to taking on an empowering new Identity, just as saying “I am an ADDer, is a step that reinforces keeping the same old disempowering Identity.
Are you telling yourself stories or reliving your past failed attempts and making that your reality today? You’re probably not doing this consciously, however, many of us base our current reality on possibilities of what you’ve done in the past. Statements like, “this is just how I am” or “this doesn’t feel like me” or “I can’t see myself living that way” are common.
The good news?
Executive Function skills can be learned, no matter what age you are. No matter where you are...
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